We have finally came to the end

Sometimes I think that our lives are divided in a book that has already been written by chapters. Every time we close one chapter we begin a new one. I normally don't have any issues closing those chapters but for the past year and a half I have had what feels like two chapters going at the same time. First, you have Stanton. I loved that man with all of my heart and soul. The thought of going on without him literally killed me. But, I have learned in the past that you can't force someone to stay. I guess I had always hoped that something would work and we would find our way back to one another. But, it just wasn't meant to happen like that. Even if Ian never existed this is where we would be. Time to close this chapter. Theres not any reason to leave it open. Ian came along at a point where I feel like I really needed someone. Whether it was for self assurance or to remind myself myself that there are more people out there. I can honestly say that I wish I would have never met him. I am apparently incredibly naive. I gave trust where trust wasn't truly deserved. I gave the better parts of me to someone who used me and then left. I can't help but look at that situation and feel utterly stupid. Before Christmas I had reconnected with him. Some incidents happened and we didn't speak. In February he reached out to me and like a ding dong I went for it. He was telling how he missed me and that he was tired of pretending that he was happy everyday when he wasn't. We lost touch again and I basically blocked him in every way that I could. He was sent here to work so he tried to get in contact with me. Finally I broke down and talked to him. One night I went and found a pic of the baby that I lost with him and took it to him. I thought he deserved it and then he had something to look at to remind him. He began talking about wanting to move down here...I knew it wouldn't happen. I think that was something he said in an effort to pacify me. During this entire time he had a girlfriend. Knowing him and how he lacks the ability to tell the truth I screen shot all of our conversations. So the day came when they broke up. I had messaged him on facebook and it came back that his location was a town where another one of his victims(ex-girlfriends) lived. I talked to the most recent ex. I did really well until a point where she said he got mad when she didn't get pregnant. He had also told her that he and I had never dated....uh really? I told her about him trying to message me the first time. I was honestly trying to spare her feelings but then I got a message from her and it was a screen shot between him and her where he says he doesn't want me and calls me a few bad names. This both hurt me and pissed me off. I sent her all of the shots of our conversations. I'm not gonna sit back while someone lies about me. I am over it, I am done. We have now said our goodbyes and we are going our separate ways. This is where those two chapters end. It's time that my life moves on and quits sitting still. At this point even though I have been single for quite some time I do not want a relationship with anyone. I don't even want to go out on dates. I am perfectly content being at home alone or at home with my kids. It's time for me to put my life back together and try to be happy. I have NO intentions of having any more children and I also have NO intentions of ever getting re-married. I don't need aman to survive I got this. I have started off on the right foot by getting a job. I am so excited to be going back to work. That's a major step for me. I have no idea what life has in store for me but I look forward to my new journey. I have to say that I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me. I guess I never thought about how much other people's actions have weighed on me. Time to quit crying and move on.