How did we get to here?

A lot of times I sit back and wonder how we got to here. What started out as love is now coming to an end. I never thought it would all come down to this moment right here. As I sit here I know what has to be done...it's time for this to be over only leaving me one choice. I am now thinking about my son and the disappointment I feel for him. That hope and dream that we would be raised by a mother and father who were together is no longer a dream. It's simply not going to happen. He is going to spend his time going back and forth from parent to parent. I think that is the part that saddens me the most. Not the love that was lost, not the husband I will no longer have, but the sadness that my son will not be raised with a family united by love but one split up by hate. I keep asking myself how do you put all of this behind you and just move on? How do you put all of the hurt and pain behind you like it never happened? How did I become so expendable? Did he ever really, honestly love me? I am having a hard time understanding all of this. Nothing feels the same.Now I have to figure out how to move on not just for me but for my kids. I have been blessed with 4 great kids. I owe it to them to pull myself together and get through this.