In December 1998 when the doctor told me that I was 3 months pregnant I was so excited. The next month when the ultrasound tech told me it was a boy I was ecstatic. Little did I know that it is a little more interesting having a boy than a girl...life is funny that way!
I never thought being a mother could be so interesting, funny, and stressful all at the same time! I thought being a mother to girls would be so much harder than being a mother to a boy...WRONG!!!! As my son has grown older life has drastically changed!! Now instead of him looking at Blue's Clues I am catching him looking at PORN!!! OMG when did this crap start and how in the hell does he know this stuff even exists?? I have decided after catching him in a comprising position it would be best to buy him a lock for his bedroom door! Then as I looked through the browsing history and found how to take a girls bra off followed by TAKE MY CLOTHES OFF that it would be a good idea to put parental controls on his computer! Dear Lord give me some patience to deal with this and a prescription for Valium cause these are gonna be some long teenage years...AMEN!!!
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Words for goodbye
This is going to be a sad blog. I have had to think about the what if's all of my adult life. When I was 18 my dad who was only 45 passed away. I have often wondered what he would say to me if he could come back for a short time period. Maybe there was something that he really needed to tell me or maybe he would just want to simply say "I Love You". Unfortunately I will never know. Given some recent news I don't ever want my kids or my family to wonder that so these are the things that I want them to know.
To my mother: I hope that you know that you have been the best mother that anyone could ever ask for! I have always looked up to you and hoped that I could be atleast half the mother that you are! You raised me to be a strong, independent woman and I appreciate that everyday. You have been there with me through thick and thin and you will never know how much that means to me! And I love you so much!
To my brother and sister: I love you guys! Jay, I am so proud of you for the man that you have turned out to be. Amber, I am amazed at the amazing mother that you are. I don't know how you have done especially since you were so young when Car was born. With that being said mom will never love you all as much as she does me! LOL
To my stepdad: You are an amazing man! I really do love you and I thank God for you more than you will ever know! You have been so good to me and my kids and I appreciate that so much!
To my mother and father in law: You guys have taken me in and made me and my kids a part of your family and that means the world to me! I couldn't ask to have married into a better family!!! I appreciate everything that you guys have done for us!
To my amazing husband: This is the hard part! I love you more than I have ever loved anyone in my whole entire life! I know we have had our ups and our downs but we have stayed strong and made it through all of it! You have been good to me and to my kids! I thank God alot that I found you because I couldn't imagine what life would be like without you! I have never felt so loved by one person before and I don't ever want to be without you! I would also like to thank you for your mid life crisis! He is the most precious baby and you both bring joy to my life everyday!
To Dawson, Abbey, and Gracey: I want to start out by apologizing. I know it was so hard for you guys to understand why mom and dad weren't going to be together anymore and I am so sorry that I couldn't make that work! I know I fuss at you all but I love you all with all of my heart! Dawson, I am so proud of you! You have your moments but for the most part you have always just rolled with the punches and never used the excuse that there was something wrong with you! Abbey, you act just like me!!! I don't really know what I would do without you!!! You are such a great kid and I hope as you grow up you stay that way!!! Your smart and beautiful and you have so much going for you so don't ever forget that! Gracey, wow your a hand full and always have been but you have been worth it all! I hope as you grow up you realize that you can't pitch fits to get your way! With that being said you are quite funny and have made me laugh a lot over the years! I hope that all three of you guys know that you mean the world to me!!! I will never forget the day that I found out that I was pregnant with each one of you, the first time I heard your heartbeat, the first time I felt you kick, and the first time that I met you! I'm crying just sitting here thinking about it! I love you guys so much! As you grow up and get older I want you to know that I pushed myself to make something of myself not just for me but for you all too! I wanted you guys to know that no matter what happens in life if you are determined enough you can do whatever you set your mind to do! And whatever you decide to do or be in life please just be the best that you can possibly be.
To Stanton D: Wow you were a big surprise but a wonderful surprise! I thought that after I got divorced that I was done having babies but apparently God had another plan for me that included you, your dad, Hannah, and Lauren and boy I sure do thank him for that! I remember when the doctor told me that I was pregnant with you! Man I was so scared but the first ultrasound I heard your heartbeat I felt so much better! I remember seeing you on those ultrasounds and for some reason you were always sucking your thumb! I should have known then that you were gonna be a hungry baby! lol. I couldn't and don't want to imagine what my life would be like without you! You and your siblings bring me so much joy and happiness! I love being a mother to all of you!!!!
To Hannah and Lauren: I couldn't ask for better stepdaughters!!! You two are great kids! I was scared about becoming your stepmom!! I have always tried to be fair and never make a difference between you all and my kids! Lauren, you tickle me to death. You are such a funny and happy kid and I love being around you! Hannah, you speak your mind and I love that you are so comfortable with yourself that you can do that! You are both very intelligent and beautiful girls and I hope I am around to watch you all grow up but if not just know that I love you guys too!!!
We may be a big family but I love every minute of it.
I am not perfect and I have never claimed to be. I have made mistakes in my life that I regret and I just hope that those people can find it in their heart to forgive me! Hopefully noone will ever have to read the individual letters that I have written but if you do...just know that I loved all of you with all of my heart. To Allen and Stanton please don't ever let my kids forget me! Always let them know how much I loved them and that most of the things I did, I did because I loved them! Encourage them to do whatever their heart desires and let them spread their wings! And whatever you do just enjoy them because you may not be around forever and they may not either! I just needed to say all of this just in case but hopefully everything will be okay!
To my mother: I hope that you know that you have been the best mother that anyone could ever ask for! I have always looked up to you and hoped that I could be atleast half the mother that you are! You raised me to be a strong, independent woman and I appreciate that everyday. You have been there with me through thick and thin and you will never know how much that means to me! And I love you so much!
To my brother and sister: I love you guys! Jay, I am so proud of you for the man that you have turned out to be. Amber, I am amazed at the amazing mother that you are. I don't know how you have done especially since you were so young when Car was born. With that being said mom will never love you all as much as she does me! LOL
To my stepdad: You are an amazing man! I really do love you and I thank God for you more than you will ever know! You have been so good to me and my kids and I appreciate that so much!
To my mother and father in law: You guys have taken me in and made me and my kids a part of your family and that means the world to me! I couldn't ask to have married into a better family!!! I appreciate everything that you guys have done for us!
To my amazing husband: This is the hard part! I love you more than I have ever loved anyone in my whole entire life! I know we have had our ups and our downs but we have stayed strong and made it through all of it! You have been good to me and to my kids! I thank God alot that I found you because I couldn't imagine what life would be like without you! I have never felt so loved by one person before and I don't ever want to be without you! I would also like to thank you for your mid life crisis! He is the most precious baby and you both bring joy to my life everyday!
To Dawson, Abbey, and Gracey: I want to start out by apologizing. I know it was so hard for you guys to understand why mom and dad weren't going to be together anymore and I am so sorry that I couldn't make that work! I know I fuss at you all but I love you all with all of my heart! Dawson, I am so proud of you! You have your moments but for the most part you have always just rolled with the punches and never used the excuse that there was something wrong with you! Abbey, you act just like me!!! I don't really know what I would do without you!!! You are such a great kid and I hope as you grow up you stay that way!!! Your smart and beautiful and you have so much going for you so don't ever forget that! Gracey, wow your a hand full and always have been but you have been worth it all! I hope as you grow up you realize that you can't pitch fits to get your way! With that being said you are quite funny and have made me laugh a lot over the years! I hope that all three of you guys know that you mean the world to me!!! I will never forget the day that I found out that I was pregnant with each one of you, the first time I heard your heartbeat, the first time I felt you kick, and the first time that I met you! I'm crying just sitting here thinking about it! I love you guys so much! As you grow up and get older I want you to know that I pushed myself to make something of myself not just for me but for you all too! I wanted you guys to know that no matter what happens in life if you are determined enough you can do whatever you set your mind to do! And whatever you decide to do or be in life please just be the best that you can possibly be.
To Stanton D: Wow you were a big surprise but a wonderful surprise! I thought that after I got divorced that I was done having babies but apparently God had another plan for me that included you, your dad, Hannah, and Lauren and boy I sure do thank him for that! I remember when the doctor told me that I was pregnant with you! Man I was so scared but the first ultrasound I heard your heartbeat I felt so much better! I remember seeing you on those ultrasounds and for some reason you were always sucking your thumb! I should have known then that you were gonna be a hungry baby! lol. I couldn't and don't want to imagine what my life would be like without you! You and your siblings bring me so much joy and happiness! I love being a mother to all of you!!!!
To Hannah and Lauren: I couldn't ask for better stepdaughters!!! You two are great kids! I was scared about becoming your stepmom!! I have always tried to be fair and never make a difference between you all and my kids! Lauren, you tickle me to death. You are such a funny and happy kid and I love being around you! Hannah, you speak your mind and I love that you are so comfortable with yourself that you can do that! You are both very intelligent and beautiful girls and I hope I am around to watch you all grow up but if not just know that I love you guys too!!!
We may be a big family but I love every minute of it.
I am not perfect and I have never claimed to be. I have made mistakes in my life that I regret and I just hope that those people can find it in their heart to forgive me! Hopefully noone will ever have to read the individual letters that I have written but if you do...just know that I loved all of you with all of my heart. To Allen and Stanton please don't ever let my kids forget me! Always let them know how much I loved them and that most of the things I did, I did because I loved them! Encourage them to do whatever their heart desires and let them spread their wings! And whatever you do just enjoy them because you may not be around forever and they may not either! I just needed to say all of this just in case but hopefully everything will be okay!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Kids!
You know kids are funny especially when somebody is pregnant! The questions start rolling in left and right. The first thing my youngest daughter Gracey asked me was "how is that baby going to get out of there"? UHHHH how in the world do you answer that question??? I don't know if anyone else has ever figured it out but I can promise I haven't!! I tip-toed around it for a long time then the question started about how the baby got in there in the first place. That is an even more sensitive subject!
So the day came that my older daughter kept asking all of these questions and I finally broke down and felt the need to answer her questions. She said "Mom how did that baby get in there"? I told her it was magic!! She said, "Mom magic doesn't exist"! I said, "Yes, it does that is how that baby got in there in the first place"!! She said, "Okay then how is it getting out of there"? I said, "That is magic too!" She said, "Mom, I am 9 years old I can google it". Wow we didn't have the internet and google when I was 9!!! I forgot that kids are technologically advanced these days!!! I said, "Okay Abbey I will tell you". So I sat her down and explained how it gets out of your belly. She looks at me and as I think she is going to sa something absolutely profound she says, " That is so not right"! I laughed!!!
The day had come and I had the baby and it was time to come home. As soon as I walked in the door Gracey wanted to see my belly. I showed it to her and she said, "Where did the baby come out of there"? And before I could say anything Abbey said, "Gracey it didn't come out of her belly and you don't want to know where it came from". Well this has peaked Gracey's curiousity so she says, "Yes, I really want to know where that baby came out of". Abbey then proceeds to scream,"It came out of her vajay jay"! Gracey's face goes blank and she says, "Oh yuck"!!!!
Kids have been a learning experience for me!! They ask the funniest questions and say the funniest things at the most inappropriate times! Like for instance when Dawson proclaimed to everyone in the store yesterday that he needed help because his mom hit him just because I wouldn't give him his way!!! Anyway life is interesting when children are around especially mine! They are a regular comedy act!! Well I am done for today I am going to listen to Gracey run around the house singing a song that she doesn't know while she is making up words for it!!!LOL
So the day came that my older daughter kept asking all of these questions and I finally broke down and felt the need to answer her questions. She said "Mom how did that baby get in there"? I told her it was magic!! She said, "Mom magic doesn't exist"! I said, "Yes, it does that is how that baby got in there in the first place"!! She said, "Okay then how is it getting out of there"? I said, "That is magic too!" She said, "Mom, I am 9 years old I can google it". Wow we didn't have the internet and google when I was 9!!! I forgot that kids are technologically advanced these days!!! I said, "Okay Abbey I will tell you". So I sat her down and explained how it gets out of your belly. She looks at me and as I think she is going to sa something absolutely profound she says, " That is so not right"! I laughed!!!
The day had come and I had the baby and it was time to come home. As soon as I walked in the door Gracey wanted to see my belly. I showed it to her and she said, "Where did the baby come out of there"? And before I could say anything Abbey said, "Gracey it didn't come out of her belly and you don't want to know where it came from". Well this has peaked Gracey's curiousity so she says, "Yes, I really want to know where that baby came out of". Abbey then proceeds to scream,"It came out of her vajay jay"! Gracey's face goes blank and she says, "Oh yuck"!!!!
Kids have been a learning experience for me!! They ask the funniest questions and say the funniest things at the most inappropriate times! Like for instance when Dawson proclaimed to everyone in the store yesterday that he needed help because his mom hit him just because I wouldn't give him his way!!! Anyway life is interesting when children are around especially mine! They are a regular comedy act!! Well I am done for today I am going to listen to Gracey run around the house singing a song that she doesn't know while she is making up words for it!!!LOL
Decisions
It's funny how life works sometimes. Take me for example my life has been flipped and turned upside down and then back right side up. At the young age of 18 I made one of the biggest decisions of my life. Good and bad decisions followed there after.
Decision #1: Two weeks after my dad passed away I made the very adult decision to get married. I ran off and married a man that I had known for 1 whole month. I know what your thinking.....1 month....did she lose her freaking marbles.....what the heck. Well I never said I made good decisions I just said that it was one of the biggest decisions of my life. Well after 12 years and 3 kids I decided it probably wasn't one of the brightest decisions that I have ever made so DIVORCE!! So at this point I am 30 almost 31 and I am going through a divorce. In all reality I had never really dated a lot of people and he was the first guy to last longer than 2 weeks! So when this happens what the heck do you do??? YOU MOVE ON!!! This is how I got to where I am now!
So as I was going through a divorce I met a lot of people well guys! I met some extremely interesting characters! It almost made me wonder if my marriage was really so bad that I needed to go through this. I had a guy ask me if I would consider getting married again....uh no!!!This was the 2nd time I had talked to the guy and he says I think I am falling in love with you......my response was uh you better catch yourself.....see ya!I had one guy say "good women are hard to find, do you cook and clean"? Yeah, at my own house!!! REALLY??? This is what you have to go through to find someone to love you??? At this point I decided to count myself out! I was good on my own I didn't have to answer to anyone and the kids took up my time. I had good friends and great family so did I really need much more?? Apparently!
So I had a good friend that I spoke to often about what I was going through and he always had some type of genius, profound advice for me which I always took. So one day I am working and this guy calls in talking about somebody breaking into the press box at the middle school football field. He sounded good on the phone so I started talking to him. I questioned what he was doing over there and he stated that he was running. Hhhhhmmmmmmm......I said "what ya runnin for"? His response was " trying to stay in shape and get ready for the beach". Now keep in mind I really don't know who this guy is but he sounds awesome on the phone and he is running which means he probably takes good care of himself! I started talking about how I needed to start running again and get back into shape and he says " the last time I saw you, you didn't look like you needed to do anything". Somebody got game!!! I said " do you even know who I am"? Well he did because this was one of my friends brother. I didn't even know my friend had a brother and if he did why did he not introduce us before this point??? So I immediately text my friend and say "Uh hook me up"!!! So one night I am sitting at work and I get a text from a strange number. I asked who it was and they wouldn't answer. So me being the smartest person I know I plug their number into our CAD system and sure enough they had called dispatch before. It was him!!! We text all night long. We quit texting for like 2 hrs because he went to bed and then we started texting again. So he invites me over to his house that morning. I am thinking to myself..."Self, this guy could be a good friend. The last thing that you need is a relationship so just chill out"!!! So I get to this guys house and he is pretty good looking but more than anything he smells absolutely amazing and his house is so clean!!!! So I go in and sit down and we talked for hours!!! Still the last thing I need is a relationship I am going through a divorce. So we talked often and saw each other all of the time but we were just friends. We hung out and watched movies at my house. We went out and ate. We talked and text all of the time. The funny thing is even though we were just friends at the time I quit talking to everybody else that I had been talking to and even deleted their phone numbers out of my phone. So one day he decides that he no longer wants to talk to me. I was devastated and pissed all at the same time. I cried and while I was crying I thought "why am I crying?? I haven't even cried like this about a man that I was with for 12 years". Oh well what can you do??? It was really strange because he was still talking to me. He called me the next day and was still texting me....oh well good friends are hard to come by so why not. So one day he asked me what I had going on for July 4th. I told him that I was supposed to work. He said "Well the Deputy Commissioner for TDOC is having a cookout at his house and he invited me. I was going to see if you wanted to go with me". Well of course I do I will figure something out about work! I went shopping and bought a couple of things because at this point I had decided that I really cared about this guy and wanted to be with him!! I worked the night before so I went home and took a quick nap and got up and started getting ready. It took me I know 2 hrs to get ready! Anyway we went and had a great time! But there was something different that day than most of the days that we had spent together. That day seemed more like we were a couple than just friends. And crap we could have been a couple and I just didn't know it because we had never really discussed our status. If we weren't a couple before that day we were after! We were always at each other's houses and if we weren't together we were texting each other.
OMG this is it!!! This is what my mom was always talking about. When your in love with someone you will know it....well I knew it. But how would this work I have 3 kids and he has 2...we would be like the Brady Bunch. Well lets see how this goes!! He had already met my kids because we were always hanging out at my house but I had not met his yet. So one night he invited me up to his house to meet his daughters. I was so nervous!!! They were just as cute as they could be and responded well to me being there. So the next step was to introduce the kids and see how well they interact. My son which is the oldest is Autistic so I knew that this would be interesting to say the least. His oldest daughter and my oldest daughter knew each other from school because they were in RTI together. They are the same age and are in the same grade. The two younger ones hit it off pretty good! Wait where did my son go while all of this was going on???? He went and climbed into this guys bed and went to sleep. I'm not talking about laying on top of the bed I mean he pulled down the sheets and climbed into his bed and was out!!! I was mortified!! He was laughing and even called his mom to tell her! Well the kids hit it off really well. Everything was falling right into place.
So now we ( and when I say we I basically mean me) are talking about getting married. So I start planning everything. I mean I practically live there now. The only time I am not there is when I am at work. At this point I hadn't been to my house in weeks. I went and looked at wedding dresses and found the perfect dress. When I tried this dress on I cried, my mom cried, and the lady running the dress shop cried....so I bought it! Little did I know I would never wear it! A few weeks after I bought the dress I started feeling sick. Then no period. What in the world was going on??? Was I pregnant?Really??? How am I going to tell him??? I took 2 pregnancy tests and they both came up positive but they were faint. He came home that night and I said uh there is something in the bathroom that you need to look at. He went in the bathroom and saw them and said well they are faint so maybe there are wrong. I however knew they weren't wrong. When you have been pregnant a bazillion times you know right when it happens. We talked about it and he actually seemed happy at the thought of having a baby. I waited a couple of days and took 2 more and oh boy oh boy they weren't faint! I went and had a blood test done and sure enough we were pregnant! We got married on March 5th and welcome a beautiful baby boy on April 19th.
This is how it comes back full circle. If I hadn't made the decisions that I had made I wouldn't be sitting here right now looking at one of the most precious gifts from GOD. So all of the bad decisions and heartache led me right where I am today which is where I am supposed to be. And all I can say is I am happier than I have ever been!
Decision #1: Two weeks after my dad passed away I made the very adult decision to get married. I ran off and married a man that I had known for 1 whole month. I know what your thinking.....1 month....did she lose her freaking marbles.....what the heck. Well I never said I made good decisions I just said that it was one of the biggest decisions of my life. Well after 12 years and 3 kids I decided it probably wasn't one of the brightest decisions that I have ever made so DIVORCE!! So at this point I am 30 almost 31 and I am going through a divorce. In all reality I had never really dated a lot of people and he was the first guy to last longer than 2 weeks! So when this happens what the heck do you do??? YOU MOVE ON!!! This is how I got to where I am now!
So as I was going through a divorce I met a lot of people well guys! I met some extremely interesting characters! It almost made me wonder if my marriage was really so bad that I needed to go through this. I had a guy ask me if I would consider getting married again....uh no!!!This was the 2nd time I had talked to the guy and he says I think I am falling in love with you......my response was uh you better catch yourself.....see ya!I had one guy say "good women are hard to find, do you cook and clean"? Yeah, at my own house!!! REALLY??? This is what you have to go through to find someone to love you??? At this point I decided to count myself out! I was good on my own I didn't have to answer to anyone and the kids took up my time. I had good friends and great family so did I really need much more?? Apparently!
So I had a good friend that I spoke to often about what I was going through and he always had some type of genius, profound advice for me which I always took. So one day I am working and this guy calls in talking about somebody breaking into the press box at the middle school football field. He sounded good on the phone so I started talking to him. I questioned what he was doing over there and he stated that he was running. Hhhhhmmmmmmm......I said "what ya runnin for"? His response was " trying to stay in shape and get ready for the beach". Now keep in mind I really don't know who this guy is but he sounds awesome on the phone and he is running which means he probably takes good care of himself! I started talking about how I needed to start running again and get back into shape and he says " the last time I saw you, you didn't look like you needed to do anything". Somebody got game!!! I said " do you even know who I am"? Well he did because this was one of my friends brother. I didn't even know my friend had a brother and if he did why did he not introduce us before this point??? So I immediately text my friend and say "Uh hook me up"!!! So one night I am sitting at work and I get a text from a strange number. I asked who it was and they wouldn't answer. So me being the smartest person I know I plug their number into our CAD system and sure enough they had called dispatch before. It was him!!! We text all night long. We quit texting for like 2 hrs because he went to bed and then we started texting again. So he invites me over to his house that morning. I am thinking to myself..."Self, this guy could be a good friend. The last thing that you need is a relationship so just chill out"!!! So I get to this guys house and he is pretty good looking but more than anything he smells absolutely amazing and his house is so clean!!!! So I go in and sit down and we talked for hours!!! Still the last thing I need is a relationship I am going through a divorce. So we talked often and saw each other all of the time but we were just friends. We hung out and watched movies at my house. We went out and ate. We talked and text all of the time. The funny thing is even though we were just friends at the time I quit talking to everybody else that I had been talking to and even deleted their phone numbers out of my phone. So one day he decides that he no longer wants to talk to me. I was devastated and pissed all at the same time. I cried and while I was crying I thought "why am I crying?? I haven't even cried like this about a man that I was with for 12 years". Oh well what can you do??? It was really strange because he was still talking to me. He called me the next day and was still texting me....oh well good friends are hard to come by so why not. So one day he asked me what I had going on for July 4th. I told him that I was supposed to work. He said "Well the Deputy Commissioner for TDOC is having a cookout at his house and he invited me. I was going to see if you wanted to go with me". Well of course I do I will figure something out about work! I went shopping and bought a couple of things because at this point I had decided that I really cared about this guy and wanted to be with him!! I worked the night before so I went home and took a quick nap and got up and started getting ready. It took me I know 2 hrs to get ready! Anyway we went and had a great time! But there was something different that day than most of the days that we had spent together. That day seemed more like we were a couple than just friends. And crap we could have been a couple and I just didn't know it because we had never really discussed our status. If we weren't a couple before that day we were after! We were always at each other's houses and if we weren't together we were texting each other.
OMG this is it!!! This is what my mom was always talking about. When your in love with someone you will know it....well I knew it. But how would this work I have 3 kids and he has 2...we would be like the Brady Bunch. Well lets see how this goes!! He had already met my kids because we were always hanging out at my house but I had not met his yet. So one night he invited me up to his house to meet his daughters. I was so nervous!!! They were just as cute as they could be and responded well to me being there. So the next step was to introduce the kids and see how well they interact. My son which is the oldest is Autistic so I knew that this would be interesting to say the least. His oldest daughter and my oldest daughter knew each other from school because they were in RTI together. They are the same age and are in the same grade. The two younger ones hit it off pretty good! Wait where did my son go while all of this was going on???? He went and climbed into this guys bed and went to sleep. I'm not talking about laying on top of the bed I mean he pulled down the sheets and climbed into his bed and was out!!! I was mortified!! He was laughing and even called his mom to tell her! Well the kids hit it off really well. Everything was falling right into place.
So now we ( and when I say we I basically mean me) are talking about getting married. So I start planning everything. I mean I practically live there now. The only time I am not there is when I am at work. At this point I hadn't been to my house in weeks. I went and looked at wedding dresses and found the perfect dress. When I tried this dress on I cried, my mom cried, and the lady running the dress shop cried....so I bought it! Little did I know I would never wear it! A few weeks after I bought the dress I started feeling sick. Then no period. What in the world was going on??? Was I pregnant?Really??? How am I going to tell him??? I took 2 pregnancy tests and they both came up positive but they were faint. He came home that night and I said uh there is something in the bathroom that you need to look at. He went in the bathroom and saw them and said well they are faint so maybe there are wrong. I however knew they weren't wrong. When you have been pregnant a bazillion times you know right when it happens. We talked about it and he actually seemed happy at the thought of having a baby. I waited a couple of days and took 2 more and oh boy oh boy they weren't faint! I went and had a blood test done and sure enough we were pregnant! We got married on March 5th and welcome a beautiful baby boy on April 19th.
This is how it comes back full circle. If I hadn't made the decisions that I had made I wouldn't be sitting here right now looking at one of the most precious gifts from GOD. So all of the bad decisions and heartache led me right where I am today which is where I am supposed to be. And all I can say is I am happier than I have ever been!
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