Too good to be true?

You know there is an old saying, "if it seems too good to be true, it probably is". A lot of times we don't want to believe that but unfortunately it tends to hit the nail on the head. We want to believe that something so amazing can happen to us for no other reason than because we deserve it, for me there has always been another reason....I guess to prove that I am incredibly naive. Yep, I fell for it! He got along with my family, me, and my kids loved him so much. I was swept up in something so amazing that I had honestly never really felt before. We spent all of our time together. I was either in Kentucky or he was in Tennessee. Before I knew it I had a ring on my finger. Then it happened...a baby. I was so excited. I went to the doctor and he confirmed what I had suspected, I was in fact pregnant with our baby. And this is where it began. Before I knew it we split up and he was dating another girl. All I could think was what in the world happened. The next month was back and forth from the doctor for different things and by myself. Not one time did he ever come down to go with me. I quickly realized who cared and who did not. Stanton cried when I told him. I felt so awful. All of this time I honestly thought this guy loved when in reality I had it all along. I made a huge mistake. June 30th I woke up hurting and it began...I miscarried. I had so many thoughts and feelings running through me. My mom came and got me and took me to her house so that she could take care of me. He wasn't the least bit concerned. He was too busy shacking up with his ex-girlfriend. That really broke my heart. I had so many emotions running through me but I remember feeling guilty because I felt some what relieved. I didn't know how I was going to do it by myself in the first place. Also, a child deserves to have both parents and I knew that this child would not have had a father in it's life. I have went through many emotions since this has happened. I no longer have the desire to be with anyone. I honestly don't think I can handle anymore hurt. I have been extremely depressed which I guess can be expected. There are days that I lay in the bed and cry, ones that I don't want to open my eyes, ones that I wish would be the last.

Continuing

I believe when I left last I was talking about someone new. His name was Ian. In the beginning Ian was amazing. He made me feel like I had never felt before...loved. At this point I didn't think there was any hope for me and Stanton. I loved him with all of my heart but basically he had told me that it was over. With that thought in the back of my mind I knew there was really no reason to wait around. The first time I met Ian I drove all the way to Illinois where he was working. I know what your thinking...she has lost her mind. And in a sense you would be right. I was hurt and that hurt was pushing me forward. When I pulled up outside of the hotel he was waiting. I had butterflies in my stomach because I was so nervous. He stood there and it wasn't awkward at all. It felt as if we had known each other our entire lives. I stepped outside of the vehicle and he picked me up and hugged me. Omg it felt so amazing being wrapped up in his arms. I can't even begin to describe the feeling I had. That night we talked and laughed, almost like we had been together for years. We had a connection that I can't honestly explain. From the very beginning I didn't want to leave. The next morning I woke up when he did and got ready to head back. He hugged me and said he wished I could stay but I knew I needed to go home. I hit the road. I had my radio going, and had my GPS leading the way. After about 45 minutes of driving I ended up right back where I started. I took it as a sign and told him I would stay another night. I waited all day and finally he was off work and back in the room. He got ready and took me to eat at this little Mexican place by the hotel. I remember thinking to myself...wow I can't believe your doing this. I couldn't help it because it felt so incredible and so right. The next morning we yep I said we, left Illinois taking him back to KY and me back home. The entire ride we listened to music, laughed, and cut up. The entire time I had a knot in the pit of my stomach. I don't know if it was because in reality I was doomed or if it was because I knew that I really liked this guy. I had ideas going through my head that I shouldn't have had. From jump street I kept thinking what it would be like to get married and have a baby. Crazy I know but that's what I kept thinking about. Could he be the one?