There are some things in life that I will simply never understand. I was always raised to treat people the way that I wanted to be treated and for the most part I have always done that. I may have failed a time or two on this but I have really tried. I don't understand why the people who have meant the world to me have never treated me like that. I apparently never meant much to anyone. That's extremely hard to say but sometimes in life we have moments of clarity. And in that moment we know exactly where we stand. I don't understand why I have had to go through what I have. I have been hurt far beyond what anyone could ever understand. But no matter what has happened I don't ever hurt them for pay back. There are many times that I sit in my room and just cry. My heart physically feels like it is breaking. Sometimes I cry so much that I can't catch my breath. I am so tired of feeling this way. I have never been truly, unconditionally loved and that breaks my heart.